You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
