So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
