dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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