I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
