all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
