I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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