Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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