Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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