i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize