She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
