Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
