Fuck appropriateness.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
