I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
