My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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