i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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