Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
