god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
