Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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