yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
