Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
