my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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