Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
