girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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