dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
