Pants 0. Shit 1.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
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I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
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When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm like, not good at living.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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