They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
