Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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