i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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