It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
