Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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