I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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