Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize