Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
