worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
the room spins SO much faster in panama
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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