put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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