I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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