one might say we're banned from that church
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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