I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
