of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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