I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
No more Irish car bombs ever.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
