you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
