She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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