I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
