1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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