FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Randomize
