Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
