so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize