I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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