you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize
