i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
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