i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
