Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Four minutes until I can fart!
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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