hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
