my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
