"it" just moved
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
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