Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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