I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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