this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
