Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
