I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
