I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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