$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
