fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
