Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
